Cinema-Maniac: The Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (2013) Review

One of the few rules I made for myself when starting to write on Rotten Tomatoes was to view every film in a given franchise no matter the quality. More or less I have committed to that rule and sadly it led to this specific film. To the series credit it has always consistently retain the level of quality for every entry.

The Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong is about Larnell and Sarah Leigh teaming up stopped a killer cookie and a evil talking bong. To dissect the film’s plot is no a brainer. By the title alone anyone will assume quality storytelling is not one of the things to look for; however, there’s nothing worse than a film that completely wasted time and fails to do anything its own ideas. Starting right off with a poor beginning it doesn’t take long for the film to completely make me lose all hope. Within the first twenty seconds director/producer Charles Band shows three topless women fanning the gingerdead because he’s hot. This opening tells us Charles Band didn’t feel his audience attention span would make it pass the film’s menu. Within twenty seconds all the film problem are made present; cheap effects, padding, non existent acting, and a whole of time spent doing nothing. It takes the film more than a half hour to basically get across the character Larnell has kept the evil talking bong. What occurred in those thirty minutes was a poor summarization of the three Evil Bong films that makes the initial film a lot harder to buy no matter how much you smoke, drink, or bleed out. You think a person who came across Evil Bong, King Bong, and Alien Bong would reconsider the logical and stop doing drugs. It also strikes a personal nerve to contain a cameo appearance and direct reference to the film “Ooga Booga” (a film that caused my soul to leave my body).

In the film short running time of eighty minutes it only contain one noteworthy scene. It’s a conversation between two character discussing how good eating this one cookie feel. The characters don’t just like how the cookie taste, but are sexuality excited about eating the cookie. One of the characters part of the scene says it makes his groin feel all tingling. No expression of words could describe the moment this scene came up. Sadly it’s the only thing that’ll leave an impression (aside from Larnell selling pitch being “It’s like farting in a SUV for the first time”). Characters despite how few there are follow cliches from the dumb friend, the adulterer, the slutty friend, evil business man, and lazy worker leaving little for imagination. Now the so call confrontation between the gingerdead man and evil bong is non existent since all it amounts to is bickery at first and than cooperation to kill the central characters. Things like plot, character, themes, and a point are non existent. Nothing ever happens in the film plot wise and perfectly aware this the writers have no problem paying the viewers with a middle finger for their time.

Director Charles Band (who’s also responsible for Ooga Booga Wooga) effort screams lazy. Every shot is stilled showing the non expressive actors lack of enthusiasm for the being in the film. Band under no circumstances attempts to crafts any diversity between his shots making poor used of his limited sets. His sets which mainly consist of a empty backlot, a bong store, and a bakery have odd designs choices. The bong store for instance reason has constant flashing lights on the display cases which only serve as an distraction. Star John Patrick Jordan never stops smiling. Patrick Jordan only knows one set of emotions treating every situation the same; co worker found dead, killer pastry attempting to kill him, discovering a wall of boobs, Patrick Jordan for some unexplained reason always smiles. Robin Sydney has learned nothing since the first Gingerdead Man film. Line delivery is causally soulless and unlike John Patrick Jordan has a variety of facial expressions which doesn’t help her much in the long run. It’s unfortunate that she plays two different characters in these two franchises yet is not offered a scene death for either. Special effects are a joke somehow even worse than the standalone features. Lip syncing of all basic is off for the non human killers and the gingerdead is hardly seen walking mostly seeing the two franchise killers just talk nonsense.

The Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong is the worst battle between two horror film killer which each have abysmal franchise to start with. Combing the laziness of the Evil Bong films and the awful writing of the The Gingerdead Dead series escalate to a film that is surprisingly dull. You would think a film where killer pastry going toe to toe with a evil talking bong would be interesting at some level, but sadly it is not.


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