Cinema-Maniac: My Stepbrother Is a Vampire!?! (2013) Review

After the film cheap opening credit accompanying by cheesy music we get into the film. My Stepbrother Is A Vampire begins with our narrator telling us we are in the middle of our story with our ordinary protagonist Nancy mildly fearing for her life. Our narrator when about to tell us what poor Nancy is fearing gets interrupted by Nancy’s revealing our narrator is a cat. Why do I bring this up? For starter the cat can’t be our narrator taking into account every single scene 9 out of 10 times the cat will not make an appearance. Only going on what we are given the cat could have simply made everything up since the cat plays no importance of any size in the film. Moving on, Nancy’s mom gets married to a dentist and both move into a house together. After that the plot mostly centers around Nancy trying to prove her stepbrother is a vampire. Unfortunately that plot point is spoiled since the film title gives it away. In terms of a narrative it has no conflict to drive the protagonist motivation. Sure there’s a mystery whether or not if her stepbrother is a vampire, but any who could read knows the outcome of the mystery before our protagonist finds the answer. How Nancy arrive to her conclusion is neither interesting.

At a basic level characters receive minimal development. It’s enough established the relationship between characters, give each a different personalty, subplots that come into play in the main story, and conflict of every character that plays some importance. Vampire culture is made fun of without a mean spirit in it body. A nice breath of fresh air to say the least. The plot no matter how innocent and non involving it is provides amusement; goofy dialogue, nonsensical set of characters, bizarre scenes (one involves the step brother telling a girl to rub her stomach and spin which the girl does), and a simple problem taken way out of proportion. Acting is wooden all around, but deliver with energy. Actors are having fun in their roles adding a layer of amusement when viewing the bad performances. They range from hardly changing a muscle in facial expressions to being completely over the top.

The plot is okay compare to director David DeCoteau (who brought us “A Talking Cat?”) tedious framing of every scene and pointless insertion of montages that last minutes. One of my favorite is when actress Shae Landers simply puts stakes, garlic, painting of crosses, and random drawings around her room. Sounds harmless until you hear “Dance, dance, dance, gotta dance, dance. Dance the feeling tonight”. Not in any scene (especially this one) is anyone ever dancing. It’s so pointless you’ll begin to notice the uninspired lyrics. “It doesn’t matter if you could go home tonight. It doesn’t matter if someone treats you wrong tonight. All you want to do tonight is go do the dance.”. Hearing this I was wondering what kind of dance the singer was referring too. So I pictured someone doing a combination of the robot and Carl Douglas “Dance the Kung Fu”. Montages repeat shots in particular one when three character walk with cheesy vampire capes takes minutes for the group to walk five feet in their makeover introduction.

My Stepbrother Is A Vampire is cheap and incompetent filmmaking on a mildly enjoyable level. It has likable cast that even with wooden performances are delivered with energy. Nothing from the plot is remotely memorable, but neither is it mean spirited to vampire culture or anyone specifically. Never does it downgrade entirely into the territory where it becomes infuriating with each passing mintue. Chances are My Stepmother Is A Vampire poor execution will not translate equally with audiences, but there are worse way to spend 95 minutes.

Rating: 6/10

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