Dear Full Moon Studio,
I have reason to believe that one of your films, Ooga Booga Loo, has caused my patient to lose hope in humanity. Proclaiming, and I quote, “A film that would make the Devil weep. Ninety minutes that are more joyless than going to a funeral. More torturous than water boarding, castration by the slowest way possible, and ever burning in flames with flesh regenerating…” and it is here where we presume his soul left his body. Looking for a meaning in life before returning to warn filmdom of the evil contained in this film. During our discussion he made it clear that an Uwe Boll film is far superior in acting, writing, and directing than anything produced in this film. It is said that CM buried the copied he obtain in furthest depths of the ocean so no other human will lose their soul.
Sincerely, his doctor
Ooga Booga is about a young African American who is brutally murdered by dirty cops, but his soul is magically transferred into a racist African tribesman action figure named Ooga Booga. I kid you not when I say that’s all that happens in the 90 minutes runtime. There is no substantial subplot, no characters not even cardboard cut outs, no line of dialogue that isn’t explaining something to the audience, and worst of all racist. It’s the kind of writing that has no aim, no purpose, no meaning, and nothing of value. It’s stuff with deadweight it takes the film thirty minutes for it plot to move forward. What important things occurs in those thirty is meeting our protagonist, protagonist gets killed, and reincarnated into a African Tribesman action figure via Slurpy Machine. The dead weight that makes up the first act contributes nearly nothing to its narrative. Neither does the film as whole cover little to no intended ground. If anyone was to edit the film, take out the fluff, the film actual length would be around a minute.
The only female character in the film is a tool. Her turning point in helping her boyfriend to get revenge is through rape. The tasteless kind of rape that is treated as plot device from the terrible writer. To make us sympathize for our character when he couldn’t even get the basic cardboard character done correctly. Scene after scene feels like torture dragging out the thinner than paper excuse of a “plot” the film has. There is a scene where our protagonist sees his girlfriend naked in the shower and presumes to (as said in the film) “pork off”. What did this scene contribute to the story? Not an inch worth of importance. This film is entirely made of those kind of scenes. Including one very long dragged out business meeting about drugs and prostitution made pointless when the characters are axed moments later. The heroes by the end don’t accomplished their goals well. In the film there is a crooked cop and crooked lawyer as our villains whose crimes are never shown to the world. Dying as heroes instead the villain we see them.
The “acting” in the film is atrocious like you would expect. If you were to disguise a corpse as a living person they would give a more realistic performance compare to the acting in this film. The direction is just there. No desire to fix anything wrong in the film. No passion behind a single frame in the film. No enjoyment from the viewer nor the people making this waste of space of a film. The editing is awful. Ninety percent of the film is nothing but fluff. In those moments of fluff were treated to racist black jokes, a scene that will offend six group of people at the same time, women who only contribution to the film is wanting sex, dragged out conversations about events that already established, pathetic comedic relief from rapists, and the list goes on.
Ooga Booga is one giant factory assemble plot device. There is barely a shred of redeeming value to be found. There is not trait of competent filmmaking to be found in its atrociously crude script, none actors giving less convincing performance than a play by second graders, and a director who never attempts to entertain the audience. It might even take you days to recover before you even decide to watch another film.
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