Cinema-Maniac: Hercules in New York (1975) Review

January 30, 2012
Now you’re probably asking why in the world would I review Hercules in New York. Well my friend made a bet with me that I couldn’t sit through the whole movie, I did, and I should have left sooner.

Hercules (Schwarzenegger) is sent to Earth where he finds true love and starts a promising career in the bodybuilder business. Now to be truthful, the main selling point of this DVD is Arnold voice, it’s says “Featuring Arnold real voice for the first time” on the DVD. So getting that out of the way, he’s speak terrible English in his first role. Oh yeah the plot, well, it doesn’t have one. Well it does, but it’s so poorly written and over the top you’ll be scratching your head on what in the world you’re watching.

So in order to get through this movie, me and my friend, Alex, decided to play a drinking game, we would take a shot of beer for every word Arnold said incorrectly, we almost got drunk in three minutes. If we played five minute longer, we would have our stomach pump, that’s how bad Arnold English is. This movie is ridiculous on so many level. Like how Arnold fights a Bear, fight sailors who rescued him with some laughably bad music, and something about the Mafia being involve it’s just nonsense. This movie is literally stupid, just read the title, Hercules in New York. If Tarzan adventure in New York wasn’t interesting, what made these people think it would work with Hercules.

So Hercules in New York is a bad movie with allot of filler and useless characters that make you wonder how Arnold acting career ever took off. Now this is better than some of the movie I usually pick up, it’s no Vampiro, it’s no Gingerdead Man, it’s no Ninja Squad, and that’s why it gets a 10% from me. So what did I win from the bet your probably wondering, a free copy of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, which is why it also gets a 10%.

1/10

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